Click Here :D
★
给他
我不知道你说爱我是真是假，但是我是希望是假的。我知道这样很残忍但是我不想再让你伤心，我已伤了你一次，我不想再伤你第二次。比我更好女生还有很多很多，我不是好女孩，真的。我相信你一定会看到这些，我希望你知道是你！
People out there, dont ask me who is this guy. I am sure he will know he is.
Have being working since the holidays started. Yesterday went back to school to take my report book and headed to work again. I went to school at about 7.45am with Jessie, but mrlee reached school at about 10am something. We had waited for so damn long. =( haha. And yesterday, i am so emo man, dontknow what happen. I keep thinking about something and my tears are trying to flow out without my control. And i keep giving people my stupid attitude, especially my mum. Sorry, my dear mum. Forget it then. haha. I suddenly wanna play 02Jam, influence by my cousin, haha. I heard of this game, but then i never play before.
And and, i wanna thanks TINGRUI this little wonderful babe, thanks for sending so many songs and helping me. haha. love you tonns yea. (=
[I keep thinking about you.
Do you know that you nev leave my heart before?]
★
TIRED?!
I am so tired today. Went to school in the early morning, wait for teachers outside the staffroom. Have fun today but, i am really very tired. I never being so tired before :( Students from other sec 3 classes invent a game call amazing race. A group got about 5 to 6 people, we are to walk from school to Greenridge Shopping Centre. And from there walk to ZhengHua CC, after that from there to SenjaGrand, SenjaGrand to schoolhall, schoolhall to school basketball court and need to throw the ball backwards to goal. Last destination is TenMile, from school walk to TenMile. ARRGH, what school is this? haha. I am tired. no mood to type on anymore.
[如果可以从来的话，
我想我会选择不认识你]
★
为什么当我需要你们的时侯，你们却一个都不在我身边？
到底谁才会真正关心我？
★
21May, Monday
I didnt go school. hehe, first time pon sch seh. Heard from someone that 20 people from our class didnt go either. I wonder how's MRlee's reaction, haha. I think he dont even care de barhs. Went to work with my mother, nothing to do during work, just stacking the goods.
22May, Tuesday
T0day is E-learning day, but i didnt stay at home to complete all my homeworks, instead, i went to work again. haha. I done the history only as i only recieve history assignment yesterday night. AND and, you know what, i fail the test. OHMY, but nevermind larhs, it says the marks will not be track nor counted. haha, i do the work in a rush lehs. Hope that mrmohammad will not scold barhs. :)
23May, Wednesday
I am in school now, using school computer to post. I didnt go for any camp, i dont feel like going and my parents dont wanna me to go. So, need to report school for 3 days. ARRGH.., so boring larhs. Tmr need to wear PE attire for dontknow what amazing race. How i wish tmr dont need to come. I had finished all my E-learning tasks and mothertongue paper too. Only that got physics and POA worksheet haven do. Got one month marhs, haha. slowly slowly do =) Not very happy nowadays, because of the same matter larhs, haha. I can still laugh, that means, i thought it over and over again, i know what is the right decision.
I give up lerhs, i say i wanna wait for him no matter how many years, 1 yr, 2yrs or 3yrs, i will wait. But now, it is really the time for me to face the reality and give up; to let go. He is going to marry, i am so sad and of cus shock to hear from him. =( But that night, after i recieve the news, i still can still sleep till so well, haha. Maybe i am really too tired lerhs. I need to cope with many many things, studys, relationship aand work. After that day, i send him one sms with about 300 words or more. And today morning, i recieve his sms, he only reply me 3 words. And this 3 words make me laugh. He too navie, he send me "dui bu qi" (sorry). And i still can smile. I send so many words to him and he just reply me with 3 words. haha. I congrats him and her that they are going to marry. I know that he is that type of person which before marriage, he is very very damn flirt, but after marriage, he will only love his wife. Say the truth, i am really very envious her, i wonder how he proposed to her. haha!! Anyway, it is none of my business lerhs. And i told him, we dont sms to each other forever anymore. There is not other reason for us to continue the "friendship". But boy, give me some time to get used not having your contact in my phone, your face in my brain and our memories in my heart. I will remember what you had gave me when we are together. But the memories we had, are hurt. so...
[love a person,
make sure dont do anything that make him/her sad!]
★
《有太多的东西是我们都意想不到的，它是从哪里开始到哪里结束自己也不清楚。我知道的就只是与你的小小缘份...缘份虽小，但对我来讲它足够我珍惜到永远》
我想我们没有开始过，哪来的结束呢？谢谢你曾经的爱，我体验了什么是爱...我用了两天想，以后，我们不要再传信息或打电话给对方，我也不想再看见你。你也就当这世界里没有我这个人，或者当作你不曾认识过我。
★
I am here to post again. hehe. Went to work today, last SAT went out with friends and didnt go for work and and last SUN, my mum didnt work, so i also didnt work and went out to celebrate MotherDay. haha, so it seems to be a long time never went to work. I wanna to buy many many things lehs. So must save moneyS. and of cus, earn moneyS. wahah. so fast, holidays gonna come lerhs, and also very fast gonna over soon. Arrgh, i still got many things never do lehs. Nevermind, forget it. haha. Have a great time today?! haha. dontknow. ehh, i dont know what to post lerhs lehs. End here barhs.
[任何承诺都一样，
在我们所《我永远爱你》的时侯，
大都千真万确，真心实意。
后来变得不是人心，而是人心。]
★
Yesterday having MotherTongue oral in the hall after school. And and, my teacher is Mdm Ik, ohmy, isnt she very strict? Why cant my teacher be MsGan or MsLaw also can? Forget it, it is already over. haha, no point saying all this now. Yesterday, i took my i/c too. haha, anyway, i am older lerhs. The picture of mine is so ugly, ohmy. haha.
Today, in the early morning, we had spontaneous writing. It is about SEXUALITY. And and, i cant believe that i write the spontaneous writing till the whole page. Ohmy~First time lehs. hehe, later people may think i am interested in this topic, arrgh. Today's lessons are so boring, having MotherTongue for the first lesson, mslaw came in with a BLACK face?! and start to scold us or say us? She say that even greet also cant greet properly. haha. Did nothing much during MotherTongue lesson. Math, mrskor still on mc. I wonder how's she now? It had been a few days lerhs. F&N, hand in our thick thick file and do homework. Recess, i didnt go down, stay in class to finish my F&N homework. POA was the last lesson for today, nothing much happen lehs. Just that i think the time flies very fast.
After school, went for AVA meeting in ITlab6. Go there, do nothing. haha, no larhs. I signed the morning assembly that i had do. And JieWei told me that if i wanna leave, i can leave. But i chose to wait until 2pm then leave. I sit inside there look them playing computers, jiewei scolding pple. I was doing my POA homework, but then i got no mood to do, so i read the storybk then. haha. went home before 2pm.
[我逃避的是---眼泪，
那好像破碎的眼泪。]
★
Finally, the blog is returning to what is was in the past.
haha. I burst into tears infront of tingrui and char today. Arrgh, i am sorry, i didnt say anything and i cry infront of you all. I just wanna someone to make me happy all the while, someone who will care for me when i cry. I hate that, other pple cry, everyone of you just ignored me and dont talk to me and just talking to her. What am i to you all as? I am also a human, i had feeling, this sentence i dont know how many times i had post in my blog. Is just that i am not referring to the person that i am saying now.
Okok, lets forget it ok? I really hope that not because of me you cry, i dont wanna to see you cry anymore, it makes me feel very hurt and bad. They think i am the one who make you cry, they are also the one who never think of the true side then blame me. I kept quiet for almost and hour plus?! I just dont wish to talk, until they talk to me. I get back all my results lerhs, veryvery damn bad man, how i wish i can retake, haha. jokking only nia~ (: Just now went to Greenridge to eat pizza with xuewen, cause tmr is her birthday!! haha, okok, i am abit high. Minglin, shuping and jessica went too, but they eat KFC~ then they went home lerhs. Left me and xuewen, sobsob ): haha. we shop shop abit then go home lerhs. Happen alot of things today, but i feel happy.
My results:
English: 21/30
Mathematics: 21/40
MotherTongue: 98/130
Science/Physics: 21/50
Science/Physics: 28/50
History: 19/25
SocialStudies: 13/25
POA: 26/45
F&N: 32/50
aww, see, all so bad sia. i wanna cry lerh larhs. haha. i will work harder next time!
who is willing to be the guy,
who can makes me smile EVERYDAY?
★
Hoorayy! I finally finish my blogskin and all the errors. haha, first time do blog do until so pekcek. hehe.
In the early morning, it was raining cats and dogs, and the wind are so strong. Almost blown my umbrella away. While walking up the stairs, ____ walk up too, i can feel that she was feeling unhappy. And i know what happens, it is because of me again. I just dont know what had i done wrong?! Because i yesterday reported sick and went home early, they are unhappy?! And i did sms her and ask her do i need to go to her house to complete the project with other group members? She say i cant go, reason is because if too many people go her house, her parents will not happy. okay, i accepted it. It is not me who dont want to do the project, is she dont even give me a chance to help out, okay! And yet, the next day, she is also the one who give me faces to see. I did cry, i dont know what to do, i just cry. I think that cry can makes me feel better! yea, and it did feels better. I dont wanna to care about them anymore, i just walk up the hall alone. and i sit alone, luckily got jessie to accompany me. haha, thks arh girl xDD. okok, then about the camp thingy, i didnt go for any camp because my mother called me not to go, why? I dont know the reason too. I rather go school self-study than go camping with the sec1. Jessie also accompany me, hehe, she also never go.
Nowadays, i done things almost all by myself, i like the kind of lonely feel. Mr Seet talk alot today in the hall, haha, i suddenly like his sound so much, i think he is a good guy, not all principal in the world are bad. hehe~ After the morning assembly, i feel much much more better! haha, dont know why too. I wanna to tell them, without them, i can also live in a good life. haha!! after school, went to science centre, ayeer, not fun de larhs, haha. Watch until so giddy. haha~ MRLEE treated me, jessica and xuewen porpcorn and drink. haha, thanks ya cher. I am so tired now, if can, how i wished i can lay on the bed now and SLEEP! hehe.
Forgetmenot!!
★
Today is Mother's Day. Go out to JurongWest for our breakfast/Lunch. So long never the whole family go out together le. I so happy today. Without him, i also will lead a good life. I keep thinking of him today when i was with my family. arrgh, what the. after that headed to BoonLay, actually wanna buy mattress de, but then, too expensive lerhs. so went to other place to buy. Went to 7-11 just now, i like so rich like that, take the drinks and the tibits liao, head straight to the counter, without counting how much it cost altogether. haha, so stupid me, luckily i got enough money. Went to plaza next, my brother went to return the VCDs that we rent last few days. and, i went to take the Mother's Day cake that i ordered from Bengawang Solo via phone. it cost about $20.00. And i haven give my mum the present i bought for her yesterday. My dad say, give her when we are cutting the cake. I looking forward. I wanna to see my mum's smile. ^^ i think later we gonna go out again, but dinner. My parents did cook because need to pray, but my dad insist on going out to have a "feast"?! haha, i gonna become fat again. Didnt buy anything today, but it seems like i have been spending my money very fast.
something interesting i did just now, hehe, from blogthing.
***What Aik Hui En Means***
--->
A is for Artistic
I is for Influential
K is for Kinky
H is for Hilarious
U is for Unforgettable
I is for Ideal
E is for Energetic
N is for Nutty
What's your Love Quote?
***Your Love Quote***
--->
Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other.
What's Your Inner Color?
--->
Your Inner Color is Blue
[没有你，我的日子过得好慢]
★
Today i spent alot of moneyy. OHMY, i am broke~~ haha, i spent $21 on a short IP.zone, $14 on a black jacket, $11 on a long sleeve shirt, $9.95 on a "mushroom" for xuewen as a birthday present, $2.95 on a water bottle, $1.90 on a small bag, $9.90 on a wallet for my mum from OG, and $19.90 on a shirt from OG. went to Lot 1 with xuewen on 10.30am, reach there about 11am?! go there take neo-print, xuewen brought it home, haven give me yet. Actually we plan to eat, but zhengyong going to Lot 1 and meet with us and take bus 190 to chinatown. omg, it is a long long journey to chinatown, and i stand for about 1hr?! arrgh. haha, spent so much, but i didnt get scolded. haha, so rare arhs. I am so happy today, i dont know why too, i did think of him, i had a decision, i wont forget him, i want to think of him whenever i am free. But i surely will try not to let this person to distract me for doing anything, especially my studies. haha, okok, after going to chinatown, went back to bukitpanjangplaza, meet with minglin and zhengyong went to marinasquare to meet the guys or steamboat. STEAMBOAT lehs, i want but i cant go, they did ask me to go, but i cant. haha, forget it. Even i can go, i also dont wanna to go now as LESLIE got go. I suddenly so hate him arhs. I feel like changing him into a pig, then i can roast it and eat up! wahaha, but i know it is impossible. Luckily, i changed this blog to a private and personal blog, if not pple who saw this post, will go tell him and i will die. met up with minglin, went to shop again. i so tired today. Gonna end here.
how i wish i have the power to change your heart,
and continue loving me like how you did in the past.
★
The blogger thingy is getting very confused for me?! All the functions cant be use except font and the font size. stupid larhs! Today is our chemistry teacher, miss J. last day in school. Suddenly, i feel that she is really damn good! you know, she is a good teacher, i so regret how we treat her when she first come into our class, i want her back. and i wanna miss chew too, i want both teachers. Why cant things to be what i want? First is relationship, next is Studies and now is teachers. Miss J. is such a thoughful teacher, i love her tons, she let us have free period on her lesson today, and she gave the class mamee, biscuit and sweets. We even had photos with her. Had such a wonderful day hurhs. For the first 3 lessons, went to IT lab~ , english went to IT lab 1 then math lesson went to library and went movie. hahas, so good hurhs. Just now at school, get back my physics paper. I failed, i know i will fail, and i also know that i wont do well for this time round de common tests. Gonna to work harder the next term. I think, by next term, i might be able to forget him lerhs right? Hope so~ after school, went to General Office, wanna to take my i/c, but havent arrive yet. SAD~~ nevermind, didnt went to CCA just now for the meeting, because JIEWEI say that i dont need to go, he need to mark attendance ya! If not, next meeting, i sure will KILL him de. hahas, no la, i not so violent liao le. Went home with tingrui and Charmaine. They very high sia, ask me to use the spiderman web to go home, dont need take lift or stairs. hahas, they so funny. But i didnt larhs, i not spiderman. i got no web on my hand. went to BPP with my bro, buy something, and rent VCDs to watch. I had finish watching mine, cause tmr gonna go out with friends. I suddenly felt very fortunate to have a bro, i love him so much. really very very much. I am wondering, next year he went to NS, how much would i miss him. ARRGHH, how i wish he dont need to go, tmr go out with friends, gonna buy something for him. My beloved brother. hehes, so emo hor. Saw Yvonne JIE and JERROLD KOR say he saw me. But then i didnt saw him lehs. I dont know why, i so happy today~ why??!!
hahas.
我爱你，
我好想大大声喊给你听！~
★
FINALLY !!!
all the common tests are over! YEA ~ so happy, but also worry, worry for my marks. I got type of feeling that i might fail more than 2 common tests this time. I burst into tears during Chemistry class. It is just because, i am too worry for my result, i found out that i had many questions wrong in chemistry paper. Am i going to fail? From so far, i know that i had done badly for some of my subjects, although i didnt fail, i think i had done very badly. What the god had gotta into me? I suddenly get so high during History, teacher haven marked our paper, i scare scare sia. hahas, hate school now. How i wish i can quit school now, immediately. I dont want go school, dont want study, i dont want friends. I hate you guys now more and more, who can help me stop this feeling? Since last time that matter, you guys seems to change? Or am i the one who change? I dont know, i just felt that you guys doesnt want to tell me something? So in that case, i didnt tell you guys much about my personal after that matter. Am i wrong to do that? Friends dont need to know everything about each other, am i right? Friends are just friends, everyone needs privacy. And you, are asking many things that are related to my privacy. Everytime, i am thinking whether should i tell you? Because that are my personal matter, my personal secrets, why should i tell you? But if i never tell you, you starts to show me faces. Forget it, let's not talk about it anymore. I had enough, but i wont say out, cause i dont want our friendship because of these words to being affect again. I am just writing out to put out my anger in this blog. Let's change subject, today having PE lesson, we were told to run 2 rounds around the school and is without timing de. I ran with Jessica, she ran so fast!!! hahas, we played badminton after the run, i feel like i am having a bathe after PE lesson. My hairs are wet and my shirt is wet too. I felt so blessed when i am playing badminton with them, i dont know why do i have this kind of feeling. Maybe i am mad~
never say i love you, if you really dont care.
never hold my hand, if you are going to break my heart.
never say forever, because forever makes a person cry.
★
Having 2 common tests today ~ arrgh , so difficult hurhs !! am i gonna fail ? i scare lehs , i really did study for the tests , but then my brain aint that big for all the informations of 2 subjects to store in . After the Physics test today , is that
你最爱的，往往没有选择你；
最爱你的，往往不是你最爱的；
而最长久的，偏偏不是你最爱也不是最爱你的.
★
Am i wrong in the start ? I am sorry , i really dont know that things will become more serious . I never thought that such things will happen , i only think that it start silently and eventually end silently too . I am sorry , because of me . all because of me , it start from me . If i never know him , i think nothing will happen , am i right ? and you wont get into this state . NOW , i dont know what should i do , to help you . shld i carry on to meet him up after my exams ? or , just forget him ? SHLD i force myself to forget him once again ? or just let the time to decide for me ? I think alot of things after what ____ say to me about you , i think i had the responsible to explain everything to them . but , i really scare ! i scare my parents will find out my relationships with them . I had their numbers too , and i even talk to them alot of time . Am i wrong to keep my stupid mouth shut and without confess anything to them ? I know that it is not my fault that your numbers fall on his hand , or not my fault that you fall in love in him . But i defintely know that it is my responsible that your number had a chance to fall on his hand because of the relationship i had with him . and i know it also my responsible that you fall in love in him . If he never gave your number to him , you will not fall in love with him so easily or so eventually . It is all my fault . I am sorry , really sorry . I dont know what can i do to mend all the wrong path that i took and cause you all the trouble . I am so confused now , should i stop you from talking to him or ...? what should i do ? i am scare that i chose the wrong decision again and i will hurt you once again . Tell me , what you wanna me to do ? I know that love this matter cant change , you cant change the feeling towards a guy or a person . and i know you are that type of person that once you decide something , you wont because of a small matter or misunderstand and change . There is nothing more that i can do or say now , i know whatever i do or say now turns into a piece of shit . Nothing can help you now , i only can say , i am sorry ! really sorry !
i am so tired today ! Having a hard day at woodland ~ hahas , but a happy day . and a thoughtful day too , i think of many things or matter today . I ask my mum , what if i fail my history . I really scare that nothing will go into my brain . I scare i fail again and again and will not pass in the future . And when i ask my mum this question , i almost burst into tears . I can see from her face or expression that she dont want me to fail or she dont wish although she told me that dont get zero can lerhs . She did not give me any stress during this common test but i am giving myself alot of stress . I am scare ! i scare of failing any one of the subject . I scare that i will lead my parents into disappointment .
Boy , i am still loving you although you cant see this post . I hope that i can tell you that i still love you . but now , in this situation , i chose not to tell you . I chose to keep those words in my heart forever . I am still thinking whether i should still contact with you or your friends . Or should i leave you alone and let you live your own life and i live mine . From the start , i am wrong to tell you i love you and start a relationship with you . I had chose the wrong path in my whole life . Everything turns out to be so ______ .
Shld i or SHLD i NOt ?
★
hehes ~
ONG HAI MING is a BIG , LARGE LAMER !!
tags reply :
Jingmin : dont want talk to you lerhs !!
xuewen : ok , i know . thks ! ya , so unbelievable right .
HuiLuan : Laopo , i will de , takecare too !
Zhenwei : okok , i will go your blog tagg asap . takecare ya .
tingrui : you so clever , of cus understand larhs . =)) hahas , takecare !
★
i will not hate you nor blame you anymore . as what xuewen say , hate a person is very tired and or cus very xinku . I dont know why would you did that ? i wanna know when i first heard of the matter , but i dont wanna anymore NOW ! I dont wanna to lose any friends , i dont want to experience the type of feeling of losing friends . Friends , what are friends for ? I dont know , but i know , they all had a place in my heart . No matter what they did to me , or hurt me before , they are still friends .
i had just read some of the ex-wv's blog , my tears just roll down . I dont know why either , i dont know him although i saw him before in wv . but it's like , there is nothing that cant solve , there shld not be ending for a person's life . They say you are a perfect guy , a handsome guy , a good v-prefect in school . so what is the point of c.s ? many pple miss you , loves you , adores you . When i got the news from H.S , i was shocked but i not really care . I dont know who are you until i saw your pics in someone's blog . I am really wondering what cause you to c.s , why didnt you approach your friends ? they are all there standing by you . (for those who cant understand what i referring to , skip this , thks ! )
having POA common test II just now . I didnt get a balance for that balance sheet . i forgot the format of balance sheet . anyway , what done cant be undone , i already done the paper and handed to teacher . Nothing more i can do . Quite high* today , and i keep drinking water today , i keep refilling my waterbottle with water . What had gone wrong ? Still got 5 more subjects to go . arrgh , how i wish all the tests can just disappear suddenly .
I am still thinking whether i shld find him anot . I dont know , i dont feel like seeing him once more . After that day , i did not contact him much . Or shld say , i dont want to contact him that much !! What the hell had gonne to me ?
Patrik Norman F. Viloria , rest in peace !!
can i tell you
"i love you"
once more ?
★
today no test !! hehes . but then later gonna go read POA lerhs . if not sure fail de . HOPE YOU GUYS PASS THE TEST WITH FLYING COLORS TOO !!
I've been waiting for so long , what i thought i had for you is gone . But now you're calling me , you've been checking loud but you said nothing . When you knew that i felt something , shoulda never fell for you . You wanna talk that game , but you aint got the nerve . You're gonna trip on this , when you get what you deserve . Dont start now , the feeling's cpme and gone . You played me far too long , now i'm over you . My friends and cousin , they tell me you're no good , i never listen but i should . Cause you aint right for me . Now you're stopping over everyday , getting all your stuff up in my face , and that aint what i need . There was a time when you were fine , you were the one . And now i'm stepping out , the deal is said and done . All i wanted was to chill some time with you , but i never got a single sign for you . Had to be a player crimin' with your crew , thinking it was a dope . Now you coming on ancient history , take a look around it aint no myster . Time for you to find another fantasy , cause i aint your right fantasy . i really love you , i know there is nothing that i can do to bring back the past;the memories we had together .
i love you ,
and you know i really do --
★
没有你的我，一点都不幸福！
但我知道，没有我的你，还是一样的幸福。
26'MARCH92
ARIES, ♥
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