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★
The day you went away !
Well i wonder could it be
when i was dreaming about you baby
you were dreaming of me
call me crazy
call me blind
to still be suffering is stupid after all of this time
did i lose my love to someone better
and does she love you like i do
i do , you know i really really do
Chorus
Well hey
so much i need to say
been lonely since the day
the day you went away
so sad but true
for me there's only you
been crying since the day
the day you went away
i remember the date and time
september twenty second
sunday twenty five after nine
in the doorway with your case
no longer shouting at each other
there were tears on our faces
and we were letting go of something special
something we'll never have again
i know , i guess i really really know
let me go !
★
结束了。
我知道我不可能再可以拥有你多一次！你变了，你再也不是以前我认识的你了。可是，你知道吗？不管你变得怎样，我都好爱好爱你！是你控制我的心情，喜，怒，哀，乐。你全都给我过。你变得好乖，真的好乖！
我可以告诉你，不要再离开我吗？我有这个权力吗？为什么我就是放不下你？
我真的好想好想告诉你，“我好爱你！”
我知道我不可能再可以拥有你多一次！你变了，你再也不是以前我认识的你了。可是，你知道吗？不管你变得怎样，我都好爱好爱你！是你控制我的心情，喜，怒，哀，乐。你全都给我过。你变得好乖，真的好乖！
我可以告诉你，不要再离开我吗？我有这个权力吗？为什么我就是放不下你？
我真的好想好想告诉你，“我好爱你！”
★
back home now ~
having bad sore throat and a flu now . oh , it's so terrible . he also having sore throat for 1 month lehs . did not manage to study or do my homework today , as i dont have the mood to do .
arrghh , what am i doing ? Common tests have already start , and i dont have the mood to study ? nothing much happen today , so wont post too much . hehes :(
i dont know what is your feeling towards me , but if you dont love me anymore , dont say all kinds of sweet talks to me . I am scare , i am scare that i am not able to climb up forever .
you send me _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (chinese words), do you know how i feel ? you do things without thinking of others feeling , you hurt me again . I didnt say that i ____ you too , but instead , i ask you not to ____ me , i ask you to _____her . i am not worth for you to ____ . think it twice when you tell me this , will this hurt her if she knows about it again ? If i were you , in the beginning , i will reject that girl immediately and not start a relation with her . understand ? you had already done wrong once , dont carry on please . this will not only hurt her but also me . and of cus , the people around you . i dont know what will be your reply after i reply you "that" . am i wrong to reply you that ? or i shld tell you how much i love you even after the days you leave me and accompany her ? what will be your replyy ???
oh !! what am i doing ?
never climb up forever ?--
★
I HATE YOU !!! ~
I just simply hate today . but why am i so high today ? what is the purpose that i make myself so high ? Did i walk out ? or .. is all just thoughts ?
Today is the first day of common test II . English paper , i scare larhs , scare i will fail . English lesson , did nothing ?! did a piece of worksheet . During math lesson , guys in class 3G keep throwing paper around , i did not bother or scold them cus i got play too , but i play before the lesson . They play while teacher is teaching . and that STUPID IDIOT fcuking TENSON TAN MEI MEI throw a paper to me , i never throw him , he throw me . I damn fedup !!! after a while , dont know which idiot throw paper and hit my face . I cry , cant helped larhs . and and today JESSICA also very high arhs . siaosiao de ~
went for cca after sch , bout 1 hr ?
tags reply :
tingrui : okok , all the best to you too !
xuewen : good luck to you too ..! takecareLOADx .
zhenwei: sorry sorry ! hahas lovee ya !
can i exchange my life to just meet you once ?--
★
tags replyy :
xuewen : LOVEEEE* yyous too !!
haiming : all the best to you too ~~
huiluan : LAOPO , thks arhs , i feeling better lerhs . lovee ya **
LT : hahas ! you must too !! takecare !
Serene : GOOD lUCK to you too !! loveee you always too !
you may think that i dont care bout you , but you are wrong . everything had changed , you changed , i had changed too . Are you the subject which makes me changed ? WHY ? everytime like that de , first common test also like that . First common test , my heart , my brain were thinking bout you . Last few weeks , i thought i can concentrate more on this common test without you coming into my life . but .., it is too late and i found out , you had nv walk out of my life before . i am still thinking , what is your point to tell me that you can ___ , i am no more related to you . NOMORE* understand ? you maybe a mature guy , a guy which is much more mature compared to the guys in my school . but do you know that , pre-mature guy doesnt hurt a girl so deep . they are not two-timer . you are the first one !! first one !! whose age had a big gap as me , who is so much different compared to the guys who are around me . OMG , what ___ had happened to me ? i love you , i love you , i really do !! I am supposed to hate you but ... how come i cant ?
go away !
shooooo~
leave me aloneeeee !!!--
★
i am back home now ! I report sick ~~
Having MotherTongue for the first lesson , mrsliau came into our class and ask we all to move our tables for tmr common test ! OMG ; common tests come lerhss !! then she talk to us bout yesterday de matter , many people from our class skip the last lesson . If can skip , i think the whole class wanna skip barhs , i dont like mrLau ! dont know what the hell he teaching lehs ~
misslaw seems to be in the mood today , after she wrote the words and the meaning of the word on the board , she gave us worksheet to do , many people keep calling for her . She so busy arhs . hahas ! PE next ~~ mrsoh talk so much , he talk until i almost fall asleep . we were told to run 2 rounds within 6mins and the guys within 5mins . i run about 5mins something like that . First time run so fast lerhs , hahas ! i get 15/20 for my math quiz , no good larhs ! must work harder lerhs . after math , i report sick lerhs lor . end here lerhs .
you ! you ! you !
you are what i am thinking of everyday !--
★
I am so high in school today . saying the truth , i had not high for a long time lerhs . I think this is the first time i high after "his" matter . I am really sorry for you all (they know who are them) that i seems to be showing my attitude , but i am not . I just wanna to be alone for most of my time so that i can more concentrate in my studies , but i am wrong . more worst then . hahas ; anyway , forget it kkays ?
Only had bout 5 hrs of lessons today , F&N ; English ; Physics and MotherTongue X2 . Having MotherTongue test today , arrghh ~ i forget all larhs , then somemore jingmin keep at there sneezing and coughing , distracting me sia ! anyway , it is over , so forget it barhs , i know she is sick . and during MotherTongue , many things happened lehs , misslaw was like no happy like that , want fight arhs ?
went to fajar to eat MAC with xuewen justnow . so full hurhs , we walked from fajar to greenrige , hehes , not far . i first time walked marhs , so i dont know . sorry to trouble tingrui so many times , because i am a blogspot idiot . hahas .
wooooh ~ high !!
yesterday night , i recieve a message from a person that i am looking forward for . he just suddenly send me something that
i dont know larhs !
confused --
★
eh ..
i am sorry ! i unable to go do project with you all . i think you all shld be very angry with me barhs . I am really sorry ! i know that nowadays , i very unreasonable . but during friday , i tried my very best to change myself . But it seems that you all are still not happy bout me . I know that it is my wrong to sudden change my own character into some other character that sucks .
i really hope that we can go back to what we are like in the past . I scare , i really scare that you and me will become like him and me . i dont want our friendship to break so easily , i like the feeling to be with you . it feels so relax telling you all my secrets , feel so conformtable talking to you . feel so happy at that time when i go find him and you accompany me . I already lost him , i dont want to lost you too . I need you , i dont want to experience the feeling of losing someone around me anymore . I need someone to be by my side , someone who can lend me her listening ear . I dont know how to express all this when we are face to face . And i think even if i have the guts to tell you face to face , you will also dont have the time to hear me talk . the moment huiluan reached school , you will talk to her immediately and leave me alone . I dont like that feeling , it makes me think that i am just a useless friend to you . A friend that you can find when nobody is around . PLEASE , dont treat me like this . I think bout this for the whole day today , i know what cause all things to happen . and i really wish that i can make up with you . Can you forgive me for all the sorry things i had done to you ?
will you reply me ?
★
Tags Reply :
anon : okay okay . you win kkies ?
xuewen : He/she never say me what , dont need so angry de . he only say i english poor , and i admit lor . hahas XDD . lovee ya too !
Huiluan : WAH . hahas . cool down . takecare LOADX ya !
ruisheng : why you say siao ?
xuewen , i am sorry if i did anything wrong again . But can you at least tell me what i had done wrong ? You sometimes 要理我就理，不想理就不理的样子, you make me feel very bad . Most of the times , i am thinking , shld i joke with you all or just keep my mouth shut and do my own work . I really dont know what to do , you seems like , you got huiluan , you doesnt want to talk to me . Today , i reached home and i burst into tears after my mum ask me what happens . And minglin also , sometimes , i ask her something , she dont even want to answer me . What am i going to do ? I dont know how to react at that time .
★
FRIDAY ; 13 April
i was crying when i send farewell msg to him ! first time , really first time i am saying farewell words to someone around me . I am so regret that i never go airport ! I dont know why i am so emo at that time ~ luckily got my god-bro to comfort me , and chat with me for bout 1hr . first time chatting with him and also the first time i speak on the phone for so long ~ chat till 12am sia .. went to sleep with tears , thinking that he shld in the plane now ~ hahas , such a stupid me !!
SATURDAY ; 14 April
Went to work myself , my mum take leave today . SOBSOB =XX she PS me , hahas !! she got something on on that day larhs . so went there by bus . XIAOQING come back lerhs !! , finally , he come back , i got more 安全感 working at there . dont know why , maybe know him for yrs lerhs barhs . bout 12pm like that , my cousins came !! someone accompany me ~ work until quite late then closed barhs , reached home already 10pm plus le . but first time feel not tired at all , hahas , i still can watch some programme before turning to sleep ! hahas . chatting with my god-bro and someone larhs . also until mid-night then sleep . hahas !! gonna become a BIG PANDA le . hahas . and and , my handphone bill haven come lehs !! shit it larhs , sure burst de .
SUNDAY ; 15 April
went to work earlier than yesterday ! de who ask me so early come arhs , then i just nod my head , he ask me , go so early to see him arhs ? hahas !! SO buaiba sia ! i act like i never heard what he say . cus XIAOQING looking at me !! later he angry ... come home early today !!
TAGS replied ~
cindy : you must also takecare and JIAYOU for your tests arhs !! tmr HISTORY !
tingrui : REALLYY ??!!
xuewen : I miss him badly too !! although seldom talk to him !! just got cant bear him to go that kind of feeling ~
captain_lzy : orh , i am fine !! hahas . when you become captain ? you also must takecare !!
char : HUH ? so long arhs . hai ~~
HUILUAN : hahas !! takecare ya !!
xuewen : what thing so funny ?? hahs =))
★
Today is the day ben is leaving singapore ~
i wanna go airport !! but i cant , my dad dont allow !
suddenly got some kind of feeling ? we also classmates before ~
is he going to come back again ? i want to see him suddenly !!
actually wanna say some farewell words to him today but he didnt turn up to sch today.
sad !!!!
i did went to cca today ! and JIEWEI like dont want me to be there arhs . but i still stay till bout 3pm barhs .
and mrmohammad ask for a meeting for all info-comms members . first time sia , hehes =XX to me is first time larhs .
he saw me , he laugh sia . and ask me all the time , i am in ava arhs ? i just nod my head . but i seldom go meeting nor do duty de larhs ~
after his meeting , i went home straight !
emo ? sad ? hate ?
★
went to school early today . for ava duty . long time never do morning duty le hurhs . feel abit weird ~ first time reached school earlier than jessica sia .. hehe ; reached school , felt abit scare scare lurhs , cause no one in the classroom , only me one person in a big big classroom . hahas=))
went to the hall at bout 7am . they were already there , so ealry hurhs . i went into the control room , and did nothing for the whole duty . only when the morning assembly ends , jiewei ask me to keep the laptop ~
went back to class , mother tongue ~ boring lurhs , teacher like going to burst arhs , not in the mood today . seems very angry ~ . dont care . hehe , very bad hor ? next was PE , wasnt that fun long time . ran 1 round the school although we are told to run 2 rounds ~ played badminton after running . go canteen to buy drinks before proceed to classroom , anyway , today our math teacher never come . miss catherine came to relieve us . all the guys in 3F like whole life never see chiobu before like that . WAHAHA ~ they so funny , like perverts sia ~ oppsX . RECESS !! my classmates lie to cher that it is already 10.55am , so can release us lerhs , but then someone go adjust the clock in our classroom ~ so at that time , only 10.45am . hahas . during chem class , something happen again that made miss J angry ~~ . dont want to rake up . history !! stupid larhs , i forget everything when the test in on . my head is spinning . ARRGHs ~ during afternoon assemby , we had a drama show which the topic is international friendship day . and a perform from our school chinese dance . mr lee call me to ask my parents whether i can or cant go oversea camp , cus now going to malaysia only . i want go , my parents also allow me to go , but i know my mum is worry and dont wish me to go . so i planning not to go barhs .
just now went to greenridge with xuewen , eat pizza !! YUM YUM . hehes =XX
while eating , we both keep laughing , because of those guys sitting behind me , they laugh until _____. then xuewen heard that they said ,
first guy : i want chopsticks .
second guy : chop your head .
omg , how come they so childish . hahas ! before they leave the place , one of the guy laugh like a sissy sia . both of us laugh until no strength to cut the pizza nor eat ~ hahas . while walking back home , saw worms hanging on trees . SCREAM ...!! and run !! 3 worms lehs , fat fat derhs ; longlong derhs and it is in pick colour . we are drenched when we reached home , and i dont want to bath !! see whether will get sick not . hehes , i siaox derhs larh . my hands and legs are in pain !! cus of the badminton ~
who is willing to release me ? hurhs ?
shld i carry on waiting ? or ...?
taggs replied
¤ŽħέηŴзї™¤ : you must takecare too ~
serene : miss you too . =XX
ruisheng : THKS ! you must takecare too worrhs . =))
xuewen : why hais ?
huiluan : why haiz ?
★
finally today no test , past 2 days took 4 tests altogther .
quite moody in the early morning . dont feel like talking to anyone ~
sorry guys , i am sure you all know who i saying sorry to .
my emotion change often after the break . and i cant control it .
in the morning , while walking to sch with xuewen , i was thinking of many things .
thinking am i right to do that to him ?!? am i too cruel ?
aiya , think until i almost cross the road without looking out for cars .
mother tongue was boring but funny in class ~ hahas =XX
next was f&n , boring boring boring larhs .
during english lesson , i was much more lively ~
after english lesson is recess , i ask teacher to release us 5 mins earlier .
hehes =)) and he agreed ~
but when we were walking to the canteen , mrlee stop me .
he ask me to go staffroom with him . i was like ?!? -_-"
he took a book out and give it to me , he ask me to read it !! omg ~~
i was shock , why only me ?
storybook lehs ,i hate storybook larhs . =XX
after sch got history remedial , we only get the information by today morning .
stay back after sch from 3pm until about 5.30pm barhs .
so long hor ~ very cold , very hungry , very urgent ? hahas =))
tmr gonna have history test , sure fail ? cus got no confident at all .
mrmohammad keep calling minglin but looking at me .
first time he called , i was looking down . i wasnt looking at him .
i thought he really called minglin to ans his question ~
second time he called me as minglin , we look at each other but then i dont intend to ans his question . cus i not minglin ~~ :DDD
the questions he ask , i all dont know lehs .
post till here ..~~ hehes .
★
taggs replied -
XueWen : thks , i hope so . but it seems to be a hard life for me .
JingMin : ):
★
Taggs Replied
serene : dont need to xie me larhs . hahas =)) relink lerhs worhs !
ruisheng : dont pity me , please . i chose to be like that ~ this is the path i chose in the past , so i must face the problem now !
HUILUAN : LAOPO , i will derhs , yyou must cheerup too ~
xuewen : aiyo . i loveee you too . lter the person who like you saw you tagg i love you in my board , come and beat me hurhs .
Jingmin : hahas . not ponten arhs . then sick lor , must rest well then ~
★
YESTERDAYY ; 07 April 07 ; SATURDAY
reach ___ on 7.45 am . didnt saw him . his name is *** **** . dont think is a new comer barhs. dont know what to do at that time , only one word to describe , BORING ~~ .
bout afternoon , he came ~ he siao derhs larhs , he ask me to buy something from him , then he will be friends with me . then i just like an idiot keep standing there smiling . at night , when i was about to go home , he talk to me again , this type he ask me for my _____ . but i never give larhs , i just keep smiling only . he so cute sia , i mean his action and attitude . he dont look cute , oppXX . the boss hor , very what lehs !! ask me stop having contact with *** *** . cus he not worth it . and keep asking me whether i sad anot ? ask me to say the truth . like asking a prisoner like that , stupid larhs ~ . ask until i wanna cry . but indeed , i cry on that day !! *** *** send me a message suddenly . after i read what he send and saw his name , i burst into tears immediately . and my cousin on the spot take tissue paper for me . and even ask me to cry out more . thks arhs =)
TODAYY ; 08 April 07 ; SUNDAY
my dad drove me and my mum to _____ in the morning . reach there bout 9.00am le barhs . he already there ~ the 3 of there at there le larhs . boring boring boring ~~ he ask me for my ____ again , and i dont wanna give . hahas . but this time he ask me some questions when i reject to give him what he want . he ask me why dont wanna give him ? i scare arhs ? ( i of cus scare larhs , i dont wish to get ____anymore !!). and he told me that he wanna to _ _ _ me , as when he say out , my uncle walk pass , and he look at me , OMG , this time sure die derhs . his boss so stupid larhs , ask me for my phone then call his phone number . STUPIDD !!! hate him till i die larhs =)) fcuk ~ just now before i go home wanna say byee to him derhs , but then never , later kana misunderstand .
why send me those words again ?!?
you know just one sms you send makes me cry immediately !
stupid larhs . =XX
tagg replied ~~
serene : ya lor , the lamer HAI MING ~
yanping : MISS you loads too , STEAD !! i fine too , you also must takecare ya !!
huiluan : oh ya , is GHEE . wahaha~ takecare !
Angeline : dont think to thks me , i need to say sorry to you , i wrote so many vulgarities in your tagboard . sorry arhs . takecare too !!
xuewen : hahas =XX lovee yyous too ! takecare LOADS !!
¤ŽħέηŴзї™¤ : i also seldom see you in school too ! i will tagg you back asap . takecare too ~~
★
STUPIDD larhs ! ~
almost late for school today . 7am then wake up , thinking whether wanna go school anot , but in the end , no time for me to think , quickly get changed and went to school . Phew , luckily i not late . first 2 lessons were F&N , NO test ! that stupidd idiot WEISHENG told me yesterday night that got test ~ . baked cakes using margarine , butter , corn oil and ____ forget lerhs ~ next was mathematics , mrs kor never come again , gonna fail math for sure this time ! mrs yam go give birth , mrs kor sick ~~ . during recess , go General Office to take the form to go home early ~ . reached home at bout 12pm like that barhs . on com !! hahas =))
no time to blogg !! going out now ~~
★
arghh ~
just had my dinner , damn full man . cause my brother not home today . Just now from 4pm something sleep until bout 7pm barhs . cause very giddy ~ dream of something just now . quite unbelieveable that i will dream that lehs ! maybe this dream is trying to tell me something ?!?
no mood to post ~ sorry !!
跟你在一起的时侯，曾想有一天你离开我会怎样？
我还以为我可以轻易的放下，很快就能够忘记你！
但是我没有想到失去你是那么地痛苦，
心是那么地痛。
★
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIM ZHENG YONG !!!
想逃离一个人
一个地方
一个想象
是不是只要
不去看
不去问
不去触碰
害怕那样的阴影
其实是害怕失去
you will never know how i feel when you walk away from my life
you will never know that the person i need the most is YOU
i know you dont need me , but I NEED YOU
★
FRIDAY ; 30 March 2007
didnt went for cca todayy ! hahas =)) went to ______ . thought will see him, but in the end , i was so ____ . i almost burst to tears on the spot . did he lied to me again ?!? ARGHH ~~ stupid larhs , so stupid go believe him again .
SAD ~~~
SATURDAY ; 31 March 2007
went for CIP in the morning . TIRED ~~ hahas , went to senjagrand with xuewen before forward to school . went to buy breakfast. sit outside the school and eat our breakfast , at the same time , waiting for minglin and huiluan . sianlarhs , CIP ~ went jurong east bus interchange there to take the tickets . after taking the tickets , went to jurong entertainment centre , asking people to donate $2 . all the people very what lor , see us , either act blur if not act never see us . stupid larhs , singaporeans so stingy sia !! forward to science centre next , quite many people there , saw 4 guys from bukit panjang government high there too . one of them stupid derhs larhs , ask we all whether we wanna to donate anot , say if wanna donate quickly donate , they want go back lerhs . SIAO LARHS , when did we say we wanna donate ??? if we wanna donate , we also donate to ourselves derhs . walk back then . i only manage to "sell" 3 tickets which are $6 . eh , very bad derhs results ?!? dont know larhs . straight to _____ after that , find my family .
SUNDAY ; 1 APRIL 2007
APRIL FOOL !!
hahas , got people wanna fool me but never make it . wahaha ~~ have a great fun with my cousin at ____ . first time look after the shop with her for almost the whole day . really treasure todayy ! hahs .
突然很想很想你，想听听你的声音，想见见你！想知道你过得好不好，想知道你生病好了吗，想你好好地照顾自己！
26'MARCH92
ARIES, ♥
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