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★ I'm Sorry
Everytime, we went out together, you will tell me how your colleagues made fun of you & me. I'm sorry, I really don't bear to say "Let's not meet anymore". But.. I think it's the only way to shut your colleagues mouth. I'll think of what I can do. I know, you really don't like this kind of rumours around the office. It's my fault. If I never take the initiatives to know you, none of this will happen.
Now, even your superior know about it. Everyone around you is talking about it. It makes you really uncomfortable. I'm sorry.
Thanks for your caring, for buying me warm drinks everyday. I know, you just don't want me to go hungry. But.. I want you to help me buy is because..I want to see you.
Thanks for accompany me till so late in the office that day. Without you, without your help, I believe, I won't be able to leave office at 10pm. I really appreciated a lot for what you have done for me. I really don't know how to thank you, what else can I do to thank you?
Thanks for accompany me to Clementi that afternoon, just because I need the papers to rush out the certificates. I really thought you just want to have KOI, & that's why you acc me. But in the end, you were the one who help me & my colleagues buy KOI. & because I don't take lunch, in the end, you had to buy lunch alone. Thank you Ben.
Thanks for accompany me to the PSB Academy to collect my cert yesterday.. Then to Vivo City to attend the membership night. I love yesterday! The moment we sit at outside with the sceneries. We chatted. Thank you for helping me to take food, thank you for sending me home.
I really don't know how our future will be like. Or, we don't have a future together. Maybe, in the end, we walk our own way.. I really don't dare to think much.. I just hope, even if we don't have a future.. can we remain like this? Sorry, I know I'm selfish to have such thinking.. But, I'm starting to scare of losing you when I don't even have you. Today, I'm thinking.. if one day, your care & concern suddenly stop, what'll happen to me? How will I become?
★ We're only friends.
I don't know how long i have not been here. However, I am here again, typing & posting.. that's all because of him who asked me whether do i keep a blog? & here I am.
Get to know him thru Keppel. I am in HR dept, he's in Finance dept. Supposingly we shouldn't have any interactions or any reasons to know each other. Again, it was me who took the initiative to know him. I added him in facebook, started a conversation in facebook message, and all ended there.
I have a thought of giving up. I've made so much effort, braced up my courage, just to have a chance to know him. But, he was like... bo chap? I know, according to my character, I won't give up just like that. There's a communicator in office. I initiate a conversation with him again. Finally, he had some response. I was like idiot smiling to myself while reading his replys.
&I really can't recall since when, we become so close...as friends. On a Friday, he told me he's going to Holland V. to book seats for dinner. We took train together for the first time. At that moment, I don't know where do i get the courage & requested to acc him to Holland V. &yeah, we reached Holland V, settled his booking. &We went to Hagen'daz. I was super awkward. I don't know what to order, never been there before, doesn't know what food/beverages do they have. In the end, we just ordered beverages. We sat there for around 1.5 hours (if i not wrong). With the silence we had, I really don't know what to do.. I was like trying to squeeze all my brain juice to think of what topic to chat.. But nothing was in my mind.
There was another day, his colleagues around him were not in. & I had the sudden craving on GongCha. So, I asked him whether he wants any drinks from GongCha.. I was quite surprised with his answer. He mentioned to go together. Once again, I was happy like an idiot smiling all to myself. While q-ing for GongCha, I passed him my phone, wanting him to leave down his number. But, he rejected. He told me, he'll ask from me. But, till now... nothing happen. I was thinking, it wasn't bad without his number. So that, I won't keep thinking whether to text him, will I disturb him, how come he didn't reply...etc.
&the following days after the GongCha day, if I didn't go for lunch, he'll asked me if i want any drinks from outside.. &he will buy for me. I really appreciated that, and really thanked him! I must admit, with the Soya Milk he bought for me, I don't feel hungry at all.
Thursday, I asked him if he's going home at 6pm, or going to OT as the next day will be Finance Teambuilding. He's going to OT. I think I'm really crazy to tell him that I will acc him to OT. I stayed till 8pm, thanks to him, I completed much of the works that I intend to bring it home to complete. As I do not have the key to lock the HR doors, I need to go off.. I went over to his dept & waited for him. He looked tired and shag. Maybe i shouldn't go over, I'm like rushing him to complete his work, and go off with me. I'm sorry, Ben. On the way home, he kept saying he felt paiseh that i OT till so late because I waited for him. Anyway, I chose it. Planned to eat dinner at home since Mum cooked a lot, however, he asked me whether can I eat with him instead as he's really hungry. Called Mum and told her about it, went to Jcube with him for dinner.. Back home late. & he was so cute, he planned to take cab with me from BukitGombak & send me home as Mum called & asked me if she need to fetch me. In the end, he sent me to LRT, and waited till i board the train then left. Thanks!
Friday, their Finance Teambuilding! Didn't manage to join them for the morning games, as need to wait for the tea-breaks and lunch to be delivered. Joined the whole Finance with the games in the afternoon, thanks to them, I have learnt a lot from them too. Went for bowling with them after the 2nd tea-break. Really thanks a lot for inviting HR-members to join, I really have a lot of fun & enjoyed it. Took train home with him. Thanks for acc me to Popular and escort me to the LRT.
Once, he said that being Single is better than in Relationship. He also mentioned that he doesn't like to have couple-relationship in the office. He had make things so clear. I know what to do. I will keep reminding myself that we're just friends. No matter how your colleagues make fun of me, we are still only friends. I know your character, as a Taurus, you are stubborn like a bull. Once you decide on something, you won't change your mind so easily. Therefore, I'll respect you, I won't force you, I won't leave you either. I will stay at your side as a friend. Hope, you won't stop doing too.
It's nice to have know you. Indeed, you have a lot of rubbish to talk about. Sorry, as I know I'm kinda of boring.. I don't really response well to what you said. Normally, the answer I gave you is only one word, or only a sound. But i really do enjoy your "rubbish". Thanks Ben! :)
26'MARCH92
ARIES, ♥
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